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I have been friends with a woman, who has faced and conquered many challenges, which I admire. Yet, she's repeatedly taken by surprise in relationships. Her partner walked away, which came as an unexpected event. Several of her friends drifted away during that time, because they seemed focused solely on him. This surprised her deeply. She put in increased attention toward our bond, and must have understood more clearly the essence of true friendship.

The Pattern With Friends Drifting Away

Throughout this period, many of her friends have disappeared and she isn't certain of the reason. Her last employer turned on her, even though she was an excellent employee, and she left without knowing why things shifted.

Current Dynamics

Recently, we've both stepped back from work and are seeing time together, yet I realize the part I play in our friendship is as the audience. I introduce discussion points only for her to redirect the talk toward things she cares about. Politically, she has strong opinions. I try to recommend double-checking information or other angles.

She's been arranging a holiday abroad I've visited on several occasions even called home for some time. I tried to share advice, yet it was not welcomed. She purely only wanted validation of her plans. I have come back from four weeks in that place and she wants to meet, but I don't.

Evaluating the Situation

I hesitate in this role who cuts and runs without a word, but I don't think she'll truly comprehend the effect of how she acts on how I feel about myself. At this point, I find myself in avoidance mode. What should I do?

Ways Forward

One option is to end things abruptly, yet this is rarely the easy answer that we desire. Yet having a direct talk aiming for resolution demands strength and readiness on both your parts.

Experts suggest applying a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"Initially requires explaining how things go when you talk. This needs to be objective and clear and essentially an unbiased account. The second involves sharing her how it affects you emotionally. This allows for no argument on this point. Emotions are your feelings, after all. The third step is to ask how the two of you going to change the pattern of your friendship."

Remember that she also has her own side, meaning you must to remain ready to hear that. One effective method is to say to the other person:

"It's your turn to speak while I will not say anything for a set time."

It's remarkably effective to encourage mutual respect.

Closing Considerations

This person could ignore all you say, since certain individuals have a self-protecting mindset: they maintain a story about themselves they cannot release because their very survival is tied to it and it represents they've known. This poses a challenge when there seems no thoroughfare with these people, just dead ends. Yet she could initially present defensively and then think your perspective. And should you never reach a resolution, you'll have closure from having been honest with her.